MEN- 4 Common forms of Leadership among Christian Men


    In nearly 20 years of ministry and marriage, I have observed a lot of different forms of spiritual leadership among Christian men. At some point in the journey, even the most spiritual of men will embody each of these forms. Truth be told, I will embody each of these forms at various times every week! However, it should be our goal to strive toward greater leadership at the Lord equips and trains us for the calling He has set before us as men.
4 Common forms of Leadership among Christian Men
1. The Abdicated Leader- “I don’t want to lead.”
The word abdicate literally means “to renounces one’s throne.”  The throne carries honor, but it also carries responsibility.  Sadly, there are many men who abdicate their role as a leader because they do not want to carry the burden of leadership for their marriage and family.
Picture of the Problem- A Leadership Vacuum:  Wherever there is a vacuum, something will eventually fill the void.  The reality for many families is that where the man has abdicated his role, many women have had to step up as spiritual leaders in the home.  Even more devastating is how media, negative peer influences, other men, and even gangs can fill the void that a man who has abdicated his leadership leaves behind.
2. The Impotent Leader- “I don’t feel I can lead.”
This man wants to lead, but feels powerless to do so.  Perhaps a negative self-image, a lack of a role model, or a more domineering member of the family has made this man feel unable to fulfill his role as a spiritual leader.  
Picture of the Problem- A Leadership Doormat:  The impotent leader will quickly become the house doormat if he is not able to assume his leadership role.  This will ultimately cause him to disengage from the family and resign to let someone else lead.
3. The Ill-Equipped Leader“I don’t know how to lead.” 
This man wants to lead and feels empowered, but has not been equipped with the tools to lead his family spiritually and emotionally.  In this form, either the man or his marriage and family will be frustrated and may even run into conflict due to the inability to navigate the leadership dynamics skillfully.
Picture of the Solution- A Leadership GPS:  Men need the tools and equipping to be spiritual leaders.  Thankfully, God has given us the Scriptures, the church, and the perfect example in Jesus Christ.  One of the wisest things that a man can do as a spiritual leader is to enlist a mentor who can help guide him in his leadership journey.
4. The Spiritual Leader“I am ready, willing and able to lead.
The Spiritual leader is the man who is God-directed, Christ-empowered and Bible equipped in his leadership.  He is by no means perfect, but he leads from a heart of service, humility, confidence and courage.  The spiritual leader guides his family to grow closer to Christ, by first modeling it and second, charting a course to lead his family in the ways of the Lord.
    There is no perfect spiritual leader other than Jesus Christ.  All we can do is trust in the Lord and depend upon Him to motivate, empower and equip us for every step of the leadership journey.

MEN- 4 Characteristics of Spiritual Leadership at Home


     Men carry the blessed burden of spiritual leadership for their homes.  This is a daunting challenge that is only getting more complex in the culture we live in.  More than ever, we need to find our direction in the Word of God. This passage reveals four characteristics of men who are striving to be spiritual leaders at home…
“Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish.”
Ephesians 5:25-27

As men, we are called to be Spiritual Leaders who are…

  1. Christ-directed– Our model is Jesus. He is the one who both shows us and commands us to love our wives and families. Being a spiritual leader begins with being a Jesus follower.  We will only lead our wives and families spiritually as far as we are personally willing to go in our walk with Jesus.
  2. Selfless– As a leader, we put the needs and well-being of our wife and family ahead of our own.  When we make decisions and set the direction for our families, our focus is never on “what’s best for me?”  This might mean not playing as much golf (or video games, or whatever it is you like to play) so that you can be emotionally and spiritually present.  If it means changing diapers, helping with homework, cleaning dishes or doing whatever is needed to help your wife and family succeed, then do it.
  3. Sacrificial– To be selfless requires sacrifice. We must be willing to give up our own personal rights, give up our time, money and effort to lead our homes well.  As the spiritual leader, you demonstrate love and commitment more through the sacrificial gifts of time, attention and emotional energy than by lavish gifts that do not require much of you.
  4. Visionary– As spiritual leaders, we must lead our wife and family with a vision.  The vision that God has given us is that like Jesus, we might present our wife and family to Christ as “holy and without blemish.”  We must be casting vision to our wife and family that we desire to see them become all that Christ desires the church to become- “sanctified, cleansed, washed by the Word- in splendor, beautiful and holy.”  When we lead our family with a vision, it sets the priorities and clarifies the goals that we should have for our family.  With a Christ-directed vision, prioritizing our church involvement, spiritual practices, tithing, mission trips and other spiritual catalysts for growth becomes obvious and non-negotiable.  We know the “True North” that God has given us, and now we can lead our families to set sail and embark on a journey of faith together.

Lost Arts: What to do with the “How are you doing?” Question


3 Ways We Respond to the Question- “How are you doing?”

“Life right now… sucks.”  Ever felt that way?  Of course you have, because you are human.  We all find ourselves in those kind of seasons of life where we are so discouraged, beaten down or unhappy with the state of our lives that it is hard to know what to do.  Then, you go to church (unsure what good it might do) and someone asks you a seemingly innocuous question- “How are you doing?”  How do you respond?  I have found that there are…
3 Common Ways We Respond To The “How are you doing?” Question:
1.  Deflect and Pretend:  This is clearly the easiest, and therefore the most common.  Most of us when dealing with struggle will not open up about that struggle with others, finding it easier to put on a mask and pretend like everything is OK.  When we do this, we isolate ourselves from those around us and we convince ourselves that no one else understands or cares what we are going through.  This can lead to dark bouts with discouragement, doubt and even depression.  It can also unwittingly make us hypocrites, pretending to be one thing, while in actuality being something else.
2.  Dump and Puke:  This response is at the opposite end of the spectrum.  There are some that are so consumed with their problems and struggles that whenever someone asks them how they are doing, they tend to “dump” their depression and “puke” their problems on others.  As the descriptive imagery indicates, this is not a pretty picture.  While it is important that we feel able to share our struggles with others, we should be careful to not be so consumed with unloading all of our baggage on others that we become insensitive to the fact that they are carrying a load of their own.  
3.  Discuss and Pray:  This is the healthiest and holiest way to respond to the question- “How are you doing?”  When you discuss your struggles and problems with others, you give people an opportunity to listen and share.  The dialogue produces mutual understanding and deeper relationship as the “weakness” of vulnerability is the catalyst for the strength of the friendship.  Even more importantly, when those issues have been discussed and a shared understanding has been accomplished, there is no better place to take those burdens then to the foot of the cross in prayer.  When you pray together, you remind yourselves of this gospel truth- “I am not ‘OK’.”  Only in Jesus can we find healing, only in Jesus can we find forgiveness, only in Jesus can we find rest for our souls.  When we pray like this together with our brothers and sisters in Christ we find the we can be mutually strengthened, encouraged and inspired.
     At Essential, it is my prayer, that every Sunday, and all throughout the week, we will see our church family taking time to discuss and pray together.  When I look across the room after a service, it is my hope that I will see more and more organic groups of people sharing life together and coming together in prayer.  As I talk with our members and leaders, it is my prayer that more and more I will hear of our people getting together over coffee, or coming together in living rooms to share and pray together as the body of Christ.

More than YOU can handle: Hudson Taylor


God will OFTEN give you more than YOU can handle.

“We were so utterly burdened beyond our own strength that we despaired of life itself… that was to make us rely not on ourselves, but on God who raises the dead.” 2 Corinthians 1:8b,9b
    When reality hits, it hits hard.  The truth is, that in life, whether you are a Christian or not, there will be seasons in which you will be burdened beyond your own capacity and strength to handle the burden.  The saying,“God will never give you more than YOU can handle” is not helpful and not true.  When you are faced with unbearable pain and affliction, the worst thing you can do is to try to convince yourself that YOU are strong enough.  When you are faced with an overwhelming challenge or task, the last thing you should believe is that YOU are up to it.  This is, in fact, the opposite of the Gospel confession itself.  The correct understanding is this- “God will never give you more than HE can handle… and HE can raise the dead, HE can do all things, HE can do the impossible!”  So with God, no burden is too great, no obstacle is too big, no pain is too unbearable, no challenge is too difficult.  He is God and He is with you!

Hudson Taylor- 1865

    In 1865, the great missionary to China, Hudson Taylor recounted being faced with the incredible calling and burden to bring the Gospel to central China and he wondered before the Lord how God might lead him to such an overwhelming task.  He writes that while walking along a shore in Brighton, a thought from the Lord came as he wrote, “Why if we are obeying the Lord, the responsibility rests with Him, not with us! Thou, Lord, Thou shalt have all the burden! At thy bidding, as Thy servant I go forward, leaving results with Thee.” With this gospel perspective, Taylor surrendered his burden to the Lord and God used him to begin a Gospel work in China that resulted in the mighty spread of Gospel throughout China and around the world. Historian Ruth Tucker described the impact of Hudson Taylor’s life… 
“No other missionary in the nineteen centuries since the Apostle Paul has had a wider vision and has carried out a more systematized plan of evangelizing a broad geographical area than Hudson Taylor.”
    God will OFTEN give you more than YOU can handle.  He does this, so that you will not boast or depend on your own strength, but boast and depend upon His. “Thus says the Lord, ‘Let not the wise man boast in his wisdom, let not the mighty man boast in his might, let not the rich man boast in his riches, but let him who boasts boast in this, that he understands and knows me, that I am the Lord who practices steadfast love, justice and righteousness in the earth.  For in these things I delight,’ declares the Lord.”  Jeremiah 9:23-24

Fearless Peace: Jim and Elisabeth Elliot


“Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you. Not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your hearts be troubled, neither let them be afraid.”  John 14:27

             One of the great blessings of a life devoted to obeying God’s Word is the peace of God.  God’s peace is a gift which impacts us at a heart level, so that our hearts are not troubled, nor filled with fear.  The peace of God is a direct result of peace with God.  If we are living in disobedience to God’s Word, we should not expect to experience His peace.  However, if we live our lives in continual obedience to His Word, we are one with Christ and we have access to this amazing peace.
            God’s peace is a fearless peace. God’s peace is not the absence risk or an insistence on comfort and safety, but a conviction that because God’s Word is true and trustworthy, whatever He leads us to do and wherever He leads us to go will be His best for us.
            Many have heard of the missionary Jim Elliot who along with 4 other young men was mercilessly killed while trying to reach a lost tribe of natives in Ecuador.  Jim demonstrated his fearless peace in his oft repeated quote- “He is no fool who gives what he cannot keep to gain what he cannot lose.”
            Perhaps, however, you may not remember that his young wife Elisabeth demonstrated a fearless peace which was perhaps even greater than Jim’s.  Elisabeth describes in her own words,
“A year after I went to Ecuador, Jim Elliot, whom I had met at Wheaton, also entered tribal areas with the Quichua Indians. In 1953 we were married in the city of Quito and continued our work together. Jim had always hoped to have the opportunity to enter the territory of an unreached tribe. The Aucas were in that category—a fierce group whom no one had succeeded in meeting without being killed. After the discovery of their whereabouts, Jim and four other missionaries entered Auca territory. After a friendly contact with three of the tribe, they were speared to death.   Our daughter Valerie was 10 months old when Jim was killed. I continued working with the Quichua Indians when, through a remarkable providence, I met two Auca women who lived with me for one year. They were the key to my going in to live with the tribe that had killed the five missionaries. I remained there for two years. After having worked for two years with the Aucas, I returned to the Quichua work and remained there until 1963 when Valerie and I returned to the U.S.”  This is a FEARLESS PEACE!
            As Elisabeth, Valerie and others consistently loved and shared the Gospel with this fierce tribe, the power of God interceded and began a spiritual work within the Auca tribe.  The group which was once known for its evil and violent ways, now became known for their peaceful love for Christ.  This is a FEARLESS PEACE!
            How does someone ever get to this kind of faith and peace?  Elisabeth explains her attitude in the midst of these horrible and amazing events that unfolded in her life.
            May we, men and women of God, endowed with the same Holy Spirit as Jim and Elisabeth Elliot, embody this fearless peace in our lives… whatever He asks us to do, wherever He asks us to go, whoever He asks us to love.

Lost Arts: 3 Creative Ways to Pray More Often


3 Creative Ways to Pray More Often

“Pray without ceasing.”

1 Thessalonians 5:17
“Devote yourselves to prayer”
Colossians 4:2
“Pray in the Spirit in all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests.”
Ephesians 6:18
 “At the judgement seat the most embarrassing thing the believer will face will be the smallness of his praying.”
-Leonard Ravenhill 
     Ok, we get it… we need to pray more! We are all convicted by verses and quotes like these and yet we struggle to see how we can grow in our faithfulness to God in prayer.  How do we incorporate prayer into our busy lives and schedules in a way that is meaningful and honoring to the Lord?  Perhaps this will help.
3 Creative Ways to Pray More Often
1.  Pillow Talk- One way to honor God in prayer is to make prayer the first and last communication of every day. You may not be fully alert, you may even doze off, but giving God this time is a wonderful way to bookend your day in prayer.  Instead of drifting off looking at your phone or immediately checking your texts and emails, be still and give your first and last moments of the day to the Lord. As the hymn “Be Thou My Vision” so beautifully expresses, we should desire this of God- “Thou my best Thought, by day or by night, Waking or sleeping, Thy presence my light.”
2.  Establish Daily “Prayer Pockets”
– We all have little “pockets” or “windows” of time in our day which can be made into a regular opportunity to spend time in prayer.  In my life, I decided to take my first drive of the day as a regular “pocket of prayer.”  Whenever I get in the car for my first errand or meeting, I have committed to give that time to God in prayer.  I turn off the radio and just pray out loud to the Lord for the duration of my drive.  This has become one of the sweetest and least distracted times of prayer for me every day.  What are those prayer pockets in your life?  Is it while walking home from the bus stop?  While taking a shower, putting on your make up, or waiting for the coffee to percolate?  Perhaps it is while folding the laundry or mowing the lawn.  As you identify those “pockets of prayer” commit to the Lord that every time you have one of these opportunities, you will make the most of it in prayer.
3.  Prayer Walks
– Some reading this might be “workout warriors” while others “couch potatoes,” but taking regular walks is good for the body and soul.  There is something powerful about communing with God through the physical exercise of walking in the context of nature or just being outdoors.  The practice of walking and talking with God goes all the way back to the Garden of Eden (see Genesis 3:8).  As you go for a walk, disconnect from technology, begin to pray and listen to God’s voice.  Look around at the beauty of your surroundings and thank God for His creative glories.  Consider the neighbors and those in the community who might need a touch from God.  Work through the problems of your day and give your worries, anxieties and fears to Jesus.  You will soon love to walk with God in prayer.
            While there are other times to pray like before or after a time of Bible study, before a meal or church meeting, or simply a time set aside for the express purpose of prayer, these 3 creative ways to incorporate prayer into the busyness of your day will provide some regular opportunities to grow closer to God and abide in Christ.

Lost Arts: Spiritual Practices- A Wedding and a Honeymoon


Lost Arts: Spiritual Practices- A Wedding and a Honeymoon

“And when you pray, you must not be like the hypocrites.  For they love to stand and pray in the synagogues and at the street corners so that they may be seen by others. Truly, I say to you, they have received their reward.  But when you pray, go into your room and shut the door and pray to your Father who is in secret.  And your Father who sees in secret will reward you.”
 Matthew 6:5-6
In Matthew 6:1-18, Jesus teaches his disciples about 3 key spiritual practices of a disciple- 1) Giving 2) Praying and 3) Fasting.  In each of these lessons, Jesus uses the same pattern to communicate right thinking on the matter.  This could be described in 4 key words that Jesus uses in each of these lessons.
1.  When:  “when you give,” “when our pray,” “when you fast…”  In each instance, the use of the word “when” presumes that every disciple will be actively engaged in spiritual practices.  Jesus considered giving, praying and fasting to be a normal way of life for His disciples.
2.  Hypocrites:  The way of the hypocrite is in sharp contrast to the way of a disciple.  A hypocrite does not practice spiritual disciplines to gain intimacy with God, but to gain acclaim from men.  This self-serving approach to spiritual practices will not bring intimacy with God and will not produce any eternal fruit.  Eventually, it will end in punishment.
3.  Secret:  Instead of publicly practicing spiritual disciplines to be praised by men, we should secretly practice these things to abide with Christ.  God does not require a spectacle to get His attention.  A simple, quiet approach with God is enough.  He is God after all.
4.  Reward:  Jesus makes it clear that both the hypocrite and the disciple will receive a reward for their spiritual practices.  The reward for the hypocrite is immediate but fleeting, shallow and empty.  It is the “earthly treasure” that Jesus describes in Matthew 6:19.  The reward for the disciple is a heavenly treasure, one that will last forever and is of infinite value.
     The conclusion for the disciple is that one must regularly apply spiritual practices with a personal desire to abide in Christ, not abound in cheers.  This does not mean that a disciple ought to be secretive in his spiritual practices for the sake of secrecy, but private for the sake of intimacy with the Lord.  
      Take for instance the contrast between a wedding and a honeymoon.  A wedding is a public display and declaration of a husband and wife’s love for one another.  The honeymoon is a personal and private time of intimacy and celebration of that same love and relationship.  Similarly, in our covenant relationship with God, there are public moments of faith like a wedding- Baptism, the Lord’s Supper, good works, sharing a testimony, or public prayer.  There are also many private moments of devotion like a honeymoon- Giving, prayer, fasting and solitude.  The public should not outweigh the private, but rather the private should fuel the public.  When a husband is privately intimate with his wife, he should also be publicly affectionate with her too.  When a wife is publicly affectional of her husband, she should be privately intimate as well.  To have one without the other will lead to dysfunction in a marriage and dysfunction in a disciple.  A disciple should strive to draw near to God in private and declare his love for God in public.  In this way, God is glorified in the wedding and honeymoon moments of our relationship with Him.

God’s Game Plan for Success


God’s Game Plan For Success

     Have you ever been giving a task that seemed too overwhelming or “God-sized” to imagine completing?  In 2 Chronicles, the young leader Jehoshaphat gave his spiritual leadership team a God-sized task, to manage and mediate all of the problems and conflicts of the people of Israel.  Whatever your task, job or mission, you can find God empowered success by employing the words of Jehoshaphat-
“Thus you shall do in the fear of the Lord, in faithfulness, and with your whole heart.”
 2 Chronicles 19:9.
3 Guiding Principles for God Empowered Success
1.  The Fear of the Lord: The “fear of the Lord” is a holy mix of humility, obedience and awe of God’s greatness in your life.  As Proverbs 1:7 reminds us, “The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom.” It is also the beginning of success.
2.  Faithfulness: Faithfulness is a steadfast commitment motivated by a steadfast belief.  Our faithfulness to God is driven by our faith in God.  Since we believe God is a faithful God who is able to do all things and fulfill His promises, we are able to do what has called us to do for Him day in and day out until the job gets done.
3.  Whole-hearted devotion:  Jesus said the most important command is that we “love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, with all your strength and with all your mind.”  Luke 10:27 A whole-hearted devotion to Jesus will be reflected in a whole-hearted devotion to the ministry and the calling that God has placed before you.  When we give our very best to the calling that God has given us, God will honor us and work through our efforts to multiply the impact.
     While “success” may look different depending upon your circumstances and God’s sovereign plans, you will know that you have put yourself in the best position to experience God’s blessings and fruitfulness in whatever calling, task or ministry He has laid before you. 

Why Women Should Pray and Read the Word Together


3 Reasons Why Women Should Pray and Read the Word Together

1.  Prayer and Bible reading brings ladies closer to God and one another.
 A special thing happens when women let down their guards, take of their “church mask” and honestly come to God in humility and authenticity- God produces a sense of intimacy with Him and unity with one another.  Women begin to experience and share God’s strength with one another.
2. Prayer and Bible reading changes women’s focus from a “Martha” to a “Mary” perspective.
 In Luke 10:38-42, we learn about two women who loved Jesus very much.  One woman, named Martha was a go getter, workaholic, “supermom” type that was overwhelmed with worry, anxiety and stress trying to do all of the stuff she thought a good host would do.  Martha was distracted by the tasks of ministry.  Mary was content to sit at the feet of Jesus and listen to His teaching.  Mary was devoted.  The Women’s Prayer gathering is a time to sit at the feet of Jesus and listen to Jesus.  It is a time to leave all the anxieties, worries and distractions behind and simply enjoy Jesus.
3.  Prayer and Bible reading brings change.  We cannot discount the power of the fervent prayers of a group of Women.  We are reminded of this power in Scripture- “Therefore, confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person has great power as it is working.” James 5:16  When women begin to pray together, the power of God’s Spirit is sure to follow.  It will change hearts, minds, lives, attitudes, circumstances and problems like nothing else. God has great things in store for those women who will humbly cry out to God in prayer and submit themselves to His Word.  God is searching for Women whose hearts are seeking Him! “For the eyes of the LORD run to and fro throughout the whole earth, to give strong support to those whose heart is blameless toward him.” 2 Chronicles 16:9

Why we offer a Discover Essential Class


Why we offer a Discover Essential Class

    For years, the standard way of joining a local church was to walk up the aisle at the end of a church service, speak to the pastor for about 30 seconds to indicate your desire to become a member and then fill out a small card, sitting on the front pew while the final hymn concluded.  At the end of the hymn, the Pastor would bring the person and his family in front of the church and introduce them as the newest members of the church.
    In the days when people generally attended churches and often times grew up in the same church (or at least same kind of church) as their parents, this method worked more often than not.  However, as people and churches have become more diverse in their methods, philosophies, understandings and expectations of church, the need for an opportunity to learn and make an informed decision about the church has become increasingly clear.  It is important for people to know what the church believes, the vision and values of the church, the leadership structure and the expectations of the church before joining.  This is why we offer our Discover Essential Class.  
    Once every 2-3 months, we take a Sunday afternoon to meet with those who are interested in learning more about Essential Church.  After the service, we eat a lunch together and then meet in a separate area from 1-3pm to cover a variety of aspects about Essential.  This is a wonderful opportunity for people to hear the history and vision, the beliefs and values, the expectations and benefits of being a part of the local church family at Essential.  People have an opportunity to ask questions, get to know other potential members and thoughtfully consider whether Essential should be their church home. 
    I invite you to come and participate in our next Discover Essential Class.  Child care is provided upon request and the lunch is included as well.  While you certainly are not required to join the church if you attend the class, you are required to attend the class if you would like to join the church.  This way, we make sure that everyone has an opportunity to make an informed decision about their church membership.  
To find out more, please contact-